Well, it’s kind of half-dead.
At least, the title and the release date are both dead. They are changing.
The thing I’ve referred to as “Stuff I Hate About God” or something similar for about 6 years now is changing. Excuse me while I bawl like a baby. It would have more effect if this were real paper. Then you could see all the stains from my tears that are dropping onto my keyboard causing my fingertips to be shocked every time I hit a key. Kick me while I’m down why don’t you.
The book was scheduled to be released in just a few short weeks, but I learned this week that many buyers had an adverse reaction to the title. So my publisher decided to rename it, pushing the release date back to the first week of March 2014. A lot of people really didn’t like us using God and Hate in the same breath. And I totally get that.
So, my book as I’ve known it is dead. Although, not completely dead. It’s just partially dead. “It’s not quite dead yet.” I’ve always wanted to write a zombie book, and I guess I’ve now achieved that goal with my new half dead book. But it will soon find full resurrection.
It’s as if it joined the witness protection program. It’s being assigned a completely new identity to protect it from the title mob, but on the inside it’s still the same awesome book it’s always been. We’ll just have to wait longer to read it.
I’ve had a whirlwind of emotions. I was gearing up for the big release that was getting oh so close, and then it was as if someone grabbed my favorite teddy bear and chopped his head off by telling me I have to wait 7 MORE MONTHS for the release!
Headless teddy bears are worse than lost balloons. Add that to the tear-stained shock treatment I’m getting from my keyboard and it’s like my own personal hell. That’s how I picture hell, anyway—a place filled with decapitated teddy bears and shock therapy keyboards.
But, I must say how grateful I am for the team at Passio and Charisma House. They believe in my book enough to actually go back to the drawing board with the title. I don’t know what the new title will be yet, but we’ll have a big reveal soon, I’m sure. They are working hard to make it go.
So, I guess my bear’s head isn’t totally off, it’s just hanging by a thread, upside down and off the shoulder. Come March, he should be fully repaired. I just hope he doesn’t lose too much stuffing in the meantime.
While I anxiously await March, I’ll keep tapping out blog posts with my zap-me-now keyboard while my nearly headless bear stares at me with his upside down eyes. It’ll be a nice constant reminder of what might have been, but never was, “Stuff I Hate About God.”
At least I’ll forever have all this completely useless book swag to help me through the long days and nights ahead:
And now for the picture that says it all…
But in a few months I’ll have brand new book swag and a brand new book! (Or a brand new book cover, anyway.)
Please feel free to offer alternative book titles or tell any and all dead book jokes that come to mind in the comments. I’ll start:“Knock, Knock” “Who’s there?” “Not your book!”
Ouch, that’s more painful than funny.